HAAPY E-AYUDHA PUJA

WORK VIRUS!!!!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.

If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

via Girish Gopal

Awesome! B_O_M_B_A_Y

Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay. 
Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station. 
There is no darkness in Andheri. 
Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden. 
No king ever stayed at Kings Circle.
Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
Nor is there any princess at Princess Street.
Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel. 
There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines. 
The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi. 
There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar. 
Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps. 
Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T..T..). 
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital. 
Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water. 
You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street. 
There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl. 
There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada. 
Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market. 
Null bazaar does not sell taps. 
You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar. 
Kalachowki does not have a black Police station. 
Hanging Gardens are not suspended. 
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies. 
Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi. 
Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi, 
Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi. 
But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!

Ant & Grasshopper Story- New Version

Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and

laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool

and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or

shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Indian Version of this old story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and

laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the

summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands

to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others

are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper

next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with

food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor

Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that

Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.

SURA –The TERROR!!!

From Our Special Correspondent -

Chennai: If You are not aware of the Latest Tamil Movie SURA (means Shark) then its better u be beware of the Terror terrorizing Tamil Nadu
SURA the 50th film of Vijay a.k.a Young General  is certainly making deadly Tsunami waves –through theaters. Some instances below.

• 
  
  Kasab has reportedly gone into shock after the judge sentenced him to watch re-runs of SURA in solitary confinement. His lawyer told the press that they will be appealing to reduce the punishment to death sentence.
• 
  
  Chinese have decided to include “watching Sura” as one of their torture techniques and have ordered for 10,000 digital prints of the film. Apparently an official said “we can beat India in anything but not in making movies like Sura”
• 
  
  In a medical breakthrough lunatics were cured instantly after watching the opening sequence of SURA. They said “we feel smarter already”
• 
  
  Thousands of people are leaving Chennai after the movie got released –“We can tolerate the Summer …but SURA is just too much”
• 
  
  Insurance Companies report that claims for personal damages have tripled in the last month.usual reason is “watched Sura”
• 
  
  Hospitals are reportedly bribing Theatres to run more shows,as more & more people come to get admitted in the hospital straight from the movie theatre showing SURA. Usual symptoms are dizziness & nausea.

Last But Not Least…

Sharks have filed defamation case against the producers of the movie for using their name without their permission and making them look like a “comedy piece”

really a must watch for Vijay Fans atleast that's wat the reviews say…

The Geek & The Ghost -20

This story is based on some true events, however it has been fictionalized and all persons appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


on the way will reach in 10 mins
////////////message sent///////////////
RJ Calling.........

DJ: hey
RJ: hi dude
u r back?
yeah reached this morning
how was the trip
yeah it was ok
hmm
so where ?
where wat?
coffee of course
oh......(darn it)
ur busy or something?
um uh um....actually
yeah?
i am on the way to meet DG
oh.......k..........ohkay
thought u r coming tomo
hey no probs man..wats there.. we will meet tomo
sure... done

********************

10 things I learned in Hyderabad

Recently I went to Hyderabad and these are the 10 most important things I learned which I think everyone who is going to Hyderabad should know, but seldom told.

So here goes

1. People say biryani at least 5 times a day

2. Biryani is available for breakfast,lunch & dinner – 24/7

3. People eat biryani at least once a day..unless they are dead

4. People don't say lets meet for lunch or dinner, they say lets have a biryani together

5. Not being a hungry is not an acceptable excuse for not having biryani

6. Its rude to even ask what's so special about biryani.(caution,u may face physical danger)

7. Impressing a local girl requires extensive knowledge about availability of biryani, capacity to eat more biryani than her and of course ability to afford it.

8. Its never a pretty sight to see a girl dunk a whole biryani by herself ,no matter how pretty she is (solution-look at your biryani & eat)

9. Any biryani is best as long as it is made in Hyderabad

10. BIRYANI.

DESI MOM –(hilarious)

Got this in the mail :) :) - (Thanks Sathish  for sharing)

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a
girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother
couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long
been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only
made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate
than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must
be thinking, but I assure you, She and I are just roommates."
About a week later, the girl came To Kumar saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but
I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying
that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she
was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by
now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.

Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Desi